To all the mothers out there!  May God bless all of you and may you enjoy this day set aside to honor all of you!

I lost my mother almost ten years ago.  She was the mother who chose me because I was given up for adoption at birth. 

My mother was not perfect and neither am I at this job of being a mother.  In my mother’s case, the challenge was raising eight kids, with the help of my father.  In my case, it was raising two kids, without the help of their father.

We all have challenges in life and the legacy we leave behind is the legacy of rising to those challenges and doing the best job, not in spite of those challenges, but actually because of them.  Bring it on!  My mother and I both had health challenges as well.  Mom had heart issues and I have multiple sclerosis.  Did we let that stop us?  No!  We managed to carry on and do what needed to be done.

That isn’t to say that we didn’t hit bumps in the road and have detours thrown at us, but we dealt with those bumps and detours as best we could and we, and our kids, are all the better for it.

I would like to think that my kids see that strength in me, to get through every challenge with my head held high, ready for the next bump or detour in the road.  I would also like my kids to know that no matter what challenge they hit, I am here for them.  I may not always know the answer, but I know how to find answers and I know how to help them figure things out.

So, honor your mothers today.  They weren’t all perfect, but I’m sure they did the best they could with their challenges and remember; whether you believe in nature or nurture, part you came from your mother!

God bless all the mothers today!

I am going to tackle something rather controversial. Abortion.

Firstly let me say that I could never ever abort a child.  I have many reasons for that.  I have mentioned in at least a couple of my blogs that I am adopted, so I was an unwanted pregnancy, myself.  Five of my siblings are also adopted, so they were also unwanted pregnancies.  The possibility of adoption is one of my reasons for not feeling comfortable with abortion.

As an unwanted child, I look at things differently, I think.  I had an opportunity to be adopted into a wonderful family and like all families, we are not perfect, but we had food in our tummies and a roof over our head.  Some our clothes were hand-me-downs, but we had clothes and managed quite nicely.  I must say that, as a teacher and the sole income earner, I don’t know how Dad managed, but we were all raised to be happy, healthy, contributing members of society and are raising our own families.

Back to the topic of abortion.  As I said, I could not possibly conceive of doing it myself, but I think I lean on the side of pro choice.  I have seen too many children abused and damaged by single mothers and even two parent caregivers that I would rather see unwanted pregnancies turned into children given up for adoption, or terminated, than have them suffer physical or even emotional abuse, or equally wrong, neglect.

Now, as a God believing person, you might find this strange or even blasphemous, but I have difficulty believing that God would prefer to see a child abused or neglected, rather than having the child aborted, giving Him the chance to give that child to a loving family.  Does God make mistakes?  Not intentionally I’m sure, but perhaps He overestimates the strength of His children.  When you do not believe that you are strong enough for any challenge given to you by God, you will not be and those around you will suffer for it.

In recent years, there are fewer and fewer children given up for adoption.  This is a shame.  We have babies giving birth to babies.  Young mothers still in school, could give their baby to a family who is more emotionally and financially capable of raising a child.  I know that this is a very difficult decision, because I considered it myself, when I discovered that my husband was seeing someone else when I was pregnant.  I truly believed that a child had a better chance and better opportunities raised in a two parent family, but I also knew that I was financially able to manage it, although it was tough.  I was also emotionally able to raise my children and I proved myself wrong.  A single parent can raise a healthy and happy child and both of my daughters have made me proud and are successful, contributing members of society.

So, could I abort a child?  Never.  Do I believe that someone incapable of successfully raising a child should consider it?  I believe that adoption is a better option, but abortion may be the best way to save that child.  None of that even tackles the idea of a child that is to be born with any number of physical or neurological issues.  I would not wish those issues on any child or parent.  Give that soul an opportunity to be born into a healthy body.

I was looking for a great quote to start my blog with today.  Something profound that might touch folks and inspire them to inspire others.  I guess I would like to help make the world a better place one soul at a time really.  But I came across a whole list of quotes on family life.

Why does this strike a chord with me?  Mostly because family life means so much to me.  So, let me tell you my story of family life, parts of which you will likely have read, if you follow my blogs.  But let’s begin at the beginning.

When I was born, I was given up for adoption.  I was adopted into a family and eventually became the oldest daughter of eight kids.  Six of us are adopted and as we like to tease our two siblings that were not adopted, we were chosen and they were mistakes.  Trust me; this always draws a laugh, because we are that kind of family.

Eventually, I grew up, going through the usual family stuff, the teenage challenges and the finding my way in the adult world.  I married as people often do, but that’s where things became a bit different than in most people’s lives.

My husband did not love me. This I was unaware of and I certainly did not suspect because he told me all the time that he loved me.  It became quite apparent, when he convinced me to have kids.  I wasn’t opposed to the idea of having kids, but since I was quite a bit older than my youngest siblings, I always felt like I had my kids,

So, flash forward to my first pregnancy, where I discovered at eight months along that my husband was seeing someone else.  I gave a lot of thought to giving up my child for adoption, because I really believed that a child was best raised by two parents.  But my husband said that he and this other woman would raise her.  Over my dead body!

So, I gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter. I should point out that my husband was dumped by that woman who felt guilty about the situation.  Imagine that!

He talked me into another child and sure enough, he and this woman got back together and when my second child was a week and a half old, left me for this woman, telling me that he had never loved me.

They are, of course married and I raised my two lovely daughters on my own.  This challenge was compounded by the fact that a year after my husband left, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

My beautiful girls are grown and on their own now.  My oldest a very talented hairstylist, is in demand for weddings and photo shoots.  My youngest still has a few more months of post secondary school, studying to be a buyer.  She is already working for Holt Renfrew and has already been approached by Tiffany’s.

So, back to the topic at hand:  Family Life.  My family is not typical, but we love each other and have a great time when we are together.  My kids grew up knowing that they were, and still are, deeply loved and supported by me and the rest of my adopted family and that nothing in insurmountable.

I promised a more cheerful blog this weekend, so I’m trying to find an upbeat topic on a cloudy, rainy Sunday morning.  Everyone needs a challenge!

Well, I’m miffed that AuthorHouse has put a ridiculous description for the paperback version of my fourth book on the book sites (Amazon, Barns & Noble, etc.).  How can I try to sell something like that?

I have the usual fatigue and MS symptoms, along with deteriorating typing skills—a great combo for someone trying to be a writer!

I’m worried about money because my youngest, who is still at university, will no longer have money coming from her estranged father, because she is now 22.  My company was also giving her some money each year, but she is in her fifth year, so that ends.  And, of course, the RESP (registered education savings plan) money has run out.  So, I have that concern too (hence really wanting my books to sell)!  I promised myself that my kids would not begin their working life in debt!

So, what do I have to write a cheerful blog about?  I am still upright!  This sounds kind of odd I’m sure, but for someone who has been living with MS for over 20 years, I consider this to be an achievement!  I have needed my walker from time-to-time, but mostly, I just need my cane.

Can you tell that I’m kind of a ‘glass is half full’ kind of person?  Well, that has a lot to do with my belief system.  I believe in God, Jesus and my angels lead by Trudy, my Guardian angel.  Who could possibly be more blessed?  I also truly believe that we all choose to be in the situations that we are in, meaning choose even before we are born.  The challenges in this life were discussed and agreed upon long before I was born, given up for adoption, adopted and guided by everyone I have in my family and the friends and colleagues I met along the way.

I am blessed to have who and what I have in my life.  All is according to God’s plan, discussed with me, and I leave my life in His hands to teach me the lessons I need to learn while I am here.  That is why I never understood the ‘why me?’ when someone gets the diagnosis of MS, or whatever.  It’s because that is the way it is meant to be.

So, all is as it should be and I am truly blessed.

I thought my blog should speak to all of the great people in my life.  All have been great blessings to me in one way or another.

I was adopted.  I have always known that, and my family is very near and dear to my heart.  I am the second oldest of eight kids in this family and six of us are adopted.  My parents adopted three of us, had two of their own and then adopted three more.  All of us who were adopted, were six months or younger when we came to be Warrens.

We are all proud to be Warrens and even though our numbers have started to diminish, we still get together when we can.  We lost our mother to cancer in 2005 and we miss her dearly.  We lost our oldest brother also to cancer.

Also part of the Warrens, although they carry their father’s name, are my two daughters.  I have raised them on my own since their father left when my youngest was four months old.  We are very close and although they both live on their own now, we talk all the time and get together often.

In my list of good folks, of course, I must include my life partner Cavan.  I have actually known him for almost 30 years.  He moved into the townhouse next door to me back then, but unfortunately for both of us, I married his roommate, so our life together was delayed for almost 20 years!

Some of the other good folks in life include my good friend Iris, who I have known since I was in grade 11, 40 years ago!  She hasn’t changed a bit and even though she lives across the country, we still have a great time when we get together.

Another great friend is Viv.  Viv is my favorite bibliophile.  I have known Viv for almost 30 years, and although she is more than 30 years my senior, she is one of my dearest friends.  Two years ago, I moved about an hour outside of Toronto, but Viv and I still get together almost every week.

There are also, of course, my colleagues and co-workers, who are great.  I especially want to point out my boss, who, although he is in a different city, is one of the best bosses I have ever had.  Yesterday, I was sick and he called to tell me to shut down the laptop and take the day to get well.

I am so very blessed to have so many great people in my life!