I wrote my Thanksgiving blog on the things I am thankful for and pointed out many of the things that I am thankful for.  Most of what I am thankful for is family and I was fortunate enough to have some of my family with me for Thanksgiving.

My brother David came to visit from Toronto.  He was driven by my daughter, Alysse, who needed to rent a car anyway for some weddings she was doing the hair for.  Alysse also brought her fiancé David and Kaitlyn, my other daughter.  I was so glad that they were able to make it!

From Ottawa, came my brother Paul, who drove my sister Carol and her daughter.  Her husband Glenn had to stay home because his mother was in the hospital and because we weren't sure of my nephew’s hockey schedule.

So, with Cavan and I, that made nine for dinner.  A nice number that fit nicely around my dining room table.

Everyone arrived on Saturday, in time for dinner and were able to stay until after Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday.  In preparation, I had made three pumpkin pies, an apple pie and a pecan pie.  That’s the first pecan pie I have ever made.  My pumpkin and apple pie skills are really good, but I think I need work on pecan!

Saturday evening, my daughter Kaitlyn made pumpkin cupcakes and they were delicious!  Oh, and I also made Monkey bread to have for Sunday morning breakfast.

A good time was had by all and everyone was a big help.  David was on turkey and stuffing duty and did a marvelous job.  I took care of the potatoes and various vegetables. Carol always seems to be happy on cleanup duty and I thank all of them for coming and for the extra helping hands! I’m afraid that although I love the visitors, they do wear me out, so I am always so grateful for the help!

So, I am hoping to host Christmas dinner and hope that we will have another group of family gather around.  It may not be the same group, but these occasions are family time and any family that can make it is more than welcome!

As I sit and type my Thanksgiving blog I think of all of the many things I am thankful for.  They are far too many to even list and most of them are people.

I am most thankful for my daughters, who I am very proud of.  Alysse is a hairstylist who is a greatly admired and sought after talent for weddings and photo shoots.  Kaitlyn is on the home stretch to finish her degree in Retail Management, studying to be a buyer, and works at Holt Renfrew—very prestigious!  She has already been contacted through LinkedIn to be interviewed for Tiffany’s!

I am very thankful for Cavan, who loves me and helps me especially with the day to day things that my MS no longer allows me to do.  Lately he has had to put up with a lot of crankiness, as I seem to be doing the job of three and a half people at work and a lot of tasks have to fall through the cracks just to get the important stuff done!

I am also very thankful to, and for, my parents; my mother who I still miss every day and my father, who at 85 still can’t stay still and will pop out to Las Vegas, or wherever on a whim.  I am thankful, for my siblings, their spouses and children, all who enrich our lives.

I am also thankful for all of Cavan’s family, who enrich our lives.

Then, of course there is my dear friend Viv and my co-workers and colleagues, my bosses, and their bosses and so on.

I am also particularly thankful that I am still able to be upright, even after living with MS for over twenty years.

I can’t forget my cats, my house, our home, my car that still runs and the lovely little town of Cobourg where I live.

Of course, I recognize that this is really truly only the tip of the iceberg for what I am thankful for.  I am very blessed that God has allowed so much in my life!

Can you believe it’s September already?  School is back in session, colleges and universities too. This is the time of year that I start to watch for the beautiful colors of the trees, as God changes the leaves on the trees to gorgeous shades of red, orange and yellow.  This reminds us that winter is coming, followed by spring and new life growing on the trees!

Autumn is my favorite time of year because of the colors, the cooler temperatures and, of course, Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is a time for families to gather together and remember all of the blessings in their lives and be thankful for everything God has given them.

I have so many blessings in my life, some of which have come in the form of a challenge.  Except for my multiple sclerosis and the money problems I always seem to have, I don’t have many challenges in my life right now.  I seem to have gotten through the many challenges thrown my way, although of course, that doesn’t guarantee that I won’t have more down the road!

That is why we must all remember our blessings.  I don’t really like to count them, because putting a number on blessings isn’t helpful.  When I say my prayers, and list many of my blessings, I know that I forget so many things that I am thankful for day to day that go relatively unnoticed and I am especially thankful for the blessings that I overlook because they are just things that get me through each day.

I have been introduced to this ‘mindfulness’ thing recently.  This is where we take the time to live in the moment.  It’s very difficult to do, but it allows you to take the time to smell the roses, actually taste what you are eating and focus on prayer.  So many times, I begin my prayers and my mind wanders to something else.  I have a ways to go to get this right!

I was sent some information on mindfulness and the very first tip is:  smile the second you wake up!  It sets the tone for your day.  So, let’s all try to do that.  Seeing your blessings will surely follow!

I promised a more cheerful blog this weekend, so I’m trying to find an upbeat topic on a cloudy, rainy Sunday morning.  Everyone needs a challenge!

Well, I’m miffed that AuthorHouse has put a ridiculous description for the paperback version of my fourth book on the book sites (Amazon, Barns & Noble, etc.).  How can I try to sell something like that?

I have the usual fatigue and MS symptoms, along with deteriorating typing skills—a great combo for someone trying to be a writer!

I’m worried about money because my youngest, who is still at university, will no longer have money coming from her estranged father, because she is now 22.  My company was also giving her some money each year, but she is in her fifth year, so that ends.  And, of course, the RESP (registered education savings plan) money has run out.  So, I have that concern too (hence really wanting my books to sell)!  I promised myself that my kids would not begin their working life in debt!

So, what do I have to write a cheerful blog about?  I am still upright!  This sounds kind of odd I’m sure, but for someone who has been living with MS for over 20 years, I consider this to be an achievement!  I have needed my walker from time-to-time, but mostly, I just need my cane.

Can you tell that I’m kind of a ‘glass is half full’ kind of person?  Well, that has a lot to do with my belief system.  I believe in God, Jesus and my angels lead by Trudy, my Guardian angel.  Who could possibly be more blessed?  I also truly believe that we all choose to be in the situations that we are in, meaning choose even before we are born.  The challenges in this life were discussed and agreed upon long before I was born, given up for adoption, adopted and guided by everyone I have in my family and the friends and colleagues I met along the way.

I am blessed to have who and what I have in my life.  All is according to God’s plan, discussed with me, and I leave my life in His hands to teach me the lessons I need to learn while I am here.  That is why I never understood the ‘why me?’ when someone gets the diagnosis of MS, or whatever.  It’s because that is the way it is meant to be.

So, all is as it should be and I am truly blessed.

There is a part in the Anglican Communion service that says ‘I am not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under Thy table’ and it seems to have taken hold of my life from a young age.

I have never felt worthy of much in my life.  I was adopted, so perhaps I felt that I was unworthy even as a baby. I am the second oldest of eight children and so I did quite a few firsts.  I was the first to get my driver’s license, the first to buy a car, the first to buy a house, the first to have children, but also the first to be divorced, the first to raise children on my own (actually the only) and the first diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (okay, the only one for this too).

I like to believe that I am a good person, a good Christian even. My family mostly ignores me and I don’t really have friends, so I guess there must be something I’m not doing right.

Most every night (I must admit that sometimes I forget and fall asleep first), I say my prayers and give thanks for all of the blessings in my life and I do have many, I know.  I am most thankful for the angels who watch over me and guide my life, my daughters of course, Cavan, who does love me, both of our families, my co-workers and colleagues, my dear friend Viv (who turned 88 this year, God love her!), my house—our home, my cats of course, my car that still runs, being able to be upright (anyone with MS will understand what a blessing that is!) and even my bosses, my salary and the little town of Cobourg where I live.

I have more than most folks and I acknowledge that I am blessed to have all of it!  I have been blessed enough be able to put my kids through college, so that they will have no debt when they begin to work.

Despite my disability, I have achieved quite a bit through perseverance and yet I feel unworthy of even the love of my family, which I use to explain their avoiding me.  Will it change anything I do?  No, because I still believe I am a good person, even if I am unworthy, but it does make me sad.

This is a bit unusual, but this blog is going to be the first story of my first book.  I own the copyright, but I thought I would share it to see what folks think about it.

A very long time ago, in fact it was well over 2000 years ago; there lived a lovely little white dove named Miriam.

Miriam lived in the beautiful olive tree behind the home of Noah and his wife Emzara.  Every day Noah or Emzara would set out seeds to feed Miriam and often, they would chat with Miriam.  They spoke of how disappointed they were with everyone they met.  Everyone was so very wicked and did not pray to God every day, like they did.

Both Noah and Emzara were very kind people and would even pray in their garden when the weather was good.  Miriam liked to hear their prayers and knew how kind and wonderful God was. 

One day, Noah told Miriam of a flood that God was sending and that he had been asked by God to build a huge ship called an ark. God had told Noah that the ark must be big enough for all of his family and two of every kind of animal in the world.  Noah asked if Miriam would help him to gather the animals when it was time to load the ark.

Miriam knew that this was a very important job and now, Miriam had Ezra, who was a mate for her.  Ezra was also very kind and gentle and Noah told Miriam how happy he was to have Ezra helping Miriam to gather the animals, when the ark was ready.

Miriam had also met the three strong sons of Noah and Emzara.  Ham, Shem and Japheth were going to help with the building of the huge ark.  Miriam knew how very happy God would be to have all of them building the ark.  Ham, Shem and Japheth and their wives would also be on the ark with Noah and Emzara as well as Miriam and Ezra.

It was a lot of work to build something so big, but all of them worked very hard every day except Sunday, while Miriam and Ezra flew overhead and watched.  Just as Noah and his sons were finishing the ark, Miriam heard God tell Noah that the rain would start very soon and would not stop for forty days and forty nights. God told them that they would all be safe and dry on the ark.

While Noah and his family were gathering food and water, Miriam and Ezra began to gather the animals.  All the animals were very happy to be chosen to be on the ark and were all very kind to each other.  From the largest elephant to the tiniest ant, Miriam and Ezra brought animals from every corner of the earth.  The animals walked, flew, hopped or slithered their way onto the ark, just as the rain began to fall.

When Miriam and Ezra made sure that Noah and his family, all the food and water and all the pairs of animals were aboard the ark, there was a mighty crash, as God himself closed the ark door, ready for the flood.  That was when the rain got very heavy. 

Just as God had told Noah, it rained for forty days and forty nights and all of the land disappeared, even the tallest mountains.  Every creature, large and small, was warm and dry in the ark.  Even when God sent the strong winds to dry up the earth, all of God’s creatures were safe aboard the ark.

One day, the ark finally stopped floating and everyone knew that soon, there would be land and that everyone would be able to leave the ark.  It was soon after that that Noah called on Miriam again for help.  He asked her to fly out and see if it was safe to leave the ark yet.  Miriam brought back an olive branch and Noah knew that very soon it would be time to leave the ark.

Sometime later, Noah sent Miriam out again, but this time asked Ezra to go with her and when they did not return, Noah knew that they had found somewhere to land and build a nest.  It was time for everyone to leave the ark and find a new home!

The same as the animals came onto the ark, they left, two by two, walking, crawling, flying and slithering. The sun shone down brightly and everyone was happy to see the bright new world that was clean and fresh.

Noah and his family built an altar and as they all knelt down and thanked God for keeping them safe and dry on the ark, Miriam and Ezra flew down to pray with them.  They all thanked God for bringing them through the rain to this beautiful new world. 

Copyright 2013

Sometimes, single moms have difficulty letting their kids get out on their own.  My kids have been living on their own for about two years now.  They live in their own places and have each moved once, to be closer to downtown Toronto.

I can’t say that I don’t miss them, but I am very proud of both of them.

My oldest is a very talented hairstylist.  Alysse has already worked at a few different places since she graduated college.  Her greatest talent is the styling and she is happiest when she is dong the hair for a wedding.  Alysse has worked on several weddings and is now making the connections to be able to transition to doing weddings full time.  She is amazing and I say that not just because I am her mother, but because I have seen her work and heard the praise for it.

So, the change for Alysse will be getting into the Toronto wedding scene.  I wish her well.  Her talent will help her, so she just needs to make the connections to enable it support her.

My youngest is just finishing her Bachelor of Commerce at Ryerson University.  She is one very smart cookie.  Kaitlyn has struggled with dyslexia all her life, so studying is hard for her, but she is actually borderline gifted, so she always manages to find a way to do what she needs to do.  It’s harder for her than for students that are not dyslexic but dyslexia is actually a gift and will serve her well in life.  Those who are dyslexic think differently from the rest of us folks and it gives them an advantage in the working world, just not in education.

Kaitlyn’s change this year was her move earlier this month and she is also interviewing for another job at Holt Renfrew.  She already works there, but because she wants to be a buyer, she needs to experience as much in the retail world as she can.

I wish them both well and pray for their success!  They both deserve it and have earned it.

Okay, I am over my little funk.  I am so glad, because it just wasn’t me.  Spring is in the air and it was a beautiful day yesterday and again today.  I have always been counting my blessings and I finding more every day.

I have three books published, although I really need to get moving on marketing.  I know that I have chosen a really small audience, but I really feel that the books will touch children, the way traditional Bible stories haven’t quite been able to do.

Book four, I have promised myself to get to the publisher by the end of this weekend and then there will be a full set of four, when it comes out.

Those of you who have seen snippets on Twitter and Facebook probably know, but to summarize:  Each book has six stories.  Books one and three are from the Old Testament and books two and four are from the New Testament.  So, all in all (if you are counting), there are 24 stories (12 Old Testament and 12 New Testament). 

So far, I have not needed to repeat an animal!  Mind you, there are a couple of different birds (a dove and a raven) and kind of two goats (one referred to as just goat and one a ram), but the rest are all totally unique.

I have decided to leave it at four books, although I will plan out two more and just see what the demand is.  I would like to see children enjoy them and understand the Bible stories they represent, better than children have in the past.  I know several mothers personally, who read them to their kids and the kids just love them.

Here is my little pitch.  The first three are available on the Amazon sites, notably amazon.com and amazon.ca, but also .co.uk, .fr, .de, .jp and several other non-Amazon sites.  Please purchase the books and read them to your little ones.  You and the little ones will enjoy the stories, I promise!

Firstly, let me say that I am a firm believer of everyone getting the challenges in their life that they need to learn from and that some of us are just not worthy of some things.  I am at peace with that, at least most of the time.  I know that God has my best interests in mind.

May first, I could have retired.  I have the age and years of service, so I reached that magic number.  Why am I still working?  Well, as I’m sure I have mentioned in more than one blog, I can’t retire until my youngest daughter is finished university. 

Yesterday I woke up realizing that if my life partner was actually paying the bills, I could retire anyway.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love the guy, and I also know that in a day or two, I’ll get over it, but for now, I am in quite a funk about it.  I should also point out that Cavan and I have been together for over eleven years. 

Let me tell you my Cavan story.  We met in 1985.  He was obviously smitten, and we became good friends, but I ended up marrying his roommate, which, having been left as a single parent, was the wrong thing to do.

I ran into Cavan several times for the next 17 years and then I finally ran into him at a Chamber of Commerce meeting and found that he and his wife had been separated for a couple of years.  So we finally got together. I love Cavan and I know he loves me.  You would think that would be good enough but, he contributes very little monetarily to the household and he is still married to his wife.

How does that make me feel?  It makes me feel like I’m not good enough, that I am not entitled to better.  Is that the challenge that I’m supposed to have in this life?  I guess so. 

As I said, I believe that God gives us what we need, including the challenges we have.  Because I believe that, I will get over my little funk, but give me a day or two.

I have read that 90% of authors do not write full time.  I am one of that 90%, although, if you have read previous blogs, you will know that I could actually retire any day now, but with the financial obligation to keep my youngest daughter in school, I’ll be hanging in at the day job for nearly two years yet.

That having been said, I do have the luxury of having adult children who live on their own, so I have no mommy duties, except for paying the bills.

I have to admit, though, that there are still not enough hours in the day!  I don’t know how you writers who are the parents of small children do it!  Do you not sleep at all?  Wow, I bow down to you, that’s for sure.

Well, I am just finishing up my fourth Christian children’s book and that will be it for a while, because as all authors know, the big job is marketing.  If I do a good job at it, and there is enough interest, I will write some more in that series.  If not, well, I’ll have to think about what comes next.

That doesn’t mean that I will stop writing.  I think that most, if not all, authors are driven to write and if God believes that this is what our gift is, then things will work out and we will write and the sales will happen.

This falls under the category of ‘do what you love, love what you do’ which is what I taught my daughters and every Junior Achievement student I ever had. If you align yourself with that, I believe that it is God’s purpose for you, while you are here in this life.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone was happy to get out of bed in the morning because they loved what they did?  We all would be so much more relaxed and happy.

I did love the IT world, and it allowed me, even as a single parent, to give my kids the necessities.  But now, I grow weary of it and since I am involved with computer software and device vulnerabilities, I worry that the bad guys are winning.

It’s time for someone else to do that stuff and let me just write.  At least, it’s almost time...